Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa: The Lord Who Removed All My Doubts
Until I attained Siva Consciousness in 2020, I identified as a Smarta Hindu, with Lord Ayyappa as my ishta devata. My journey as an Ayyappa devotee began in 2000, and by 2021, I had completed 17 years of pilgrimage. For any Ayyappa devotee, the ultimate goal is to complete the 18th pilgrimage, which grants the revered title of “Guru Swami.” When I started my first pilgrimage, I never imagined I would reach this milestone.
Our spiritual lineage is Kailasa Parampara, Nandinatha Sampradaya. Rooted in this tradition are the teachings of the Vedas, Upanishads, Thirumular’s Thirumandhiram, and Saint Thiruvalluvar’s Thirukural. Spiritually, there are two major paths of belief: monism (advaita) and dualism (dvaita), which explore whether Paramatma and Jivatma are one or distinct. As Ayyappa devotees know, Ayyappa embodies the principle of Tat Tvam Asi—”You are That,” a cornerstone of Advaita philosophy.
Every Sabarimala pilgrimage brought unique learnings and prayers. Over the years, my prayers ranged from materialistic goals, such as seeking promotions and building a new home, to more profound aspirations. After my daughter was born in 2007, my prayer during the next pilgrimage was for a son. I vowed to name him after Lord Ayyappa if my prayer was answered. In 2009, my son was born, and we named him Guru Saasta. Such is the compassion of Lord Ayyappa, the kind-hearted Kali-yuga Varadhan.
I couldn’t undertake the pilgrimage during the lockdown, but during my 17th pilgrimage, my prayer was for jnana—wisdom. And so began a transformative journey. The purpose of human birth is to realize the self. To achieve this, one needs the guidance of a self-realized Satguru. In 2022, I met my Guru, Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami, at Kauai Aadheenam, where I expressed my dedication to becoming his disciple.
In our Saivite lineage, the Supreme God is Siva, and it is a divine rule that once a Guru accepts a disciple, the disciple finds joy in obeying the Guru. However, this path required me to leave all deities except Saivite ones. I wasn’t sure if I could complete my 18th pilgrimage under these circumstances. When I sought Satguru Bodhinatha’s guidance, he not only encouraged me to undertake the pilgrimage one last time but also blessed me to complete the 18th year. He assured me that afterward, my spiritual focus would naturally shift to Ganesh, Karthikeya, and Siva.
Remarkably, he also encouraged me to write an article about my pilgrimage for Hinduism Today. The eight-page article was published in October 2023. You can read it here: My Sabarimala Pilgrimage.
Thus, I completed my 18th pilgrimage two years ago, on this special day, November 17. How beautiful is this divine play! Lord Ayyappa orchestrated this journey—culminating in an international magazine article—through the blessings of my Guru, gently guiding me closer to Lord Siva.
Aum Tat Sat.
Takeaways:
- Faith and Guidance Shape Our Journey: The transition from being an Ayyappa devotee to fully embracing Saivism highlights the importance of unwavering faith and the transformative role of a Guru in spiritual growth.
- Every Step Holds a Lesson: Each pilgrimage and prayer—whether for material or spiritual goals—was a stepping stone leading to the realization of higher truths.
